Thieves of the Caribbean
by Makori
Summary: AU. Captain Cooper is rumored untouchable, and the lovely CaptainLieutenant Fox is determined to prove it wrong. Witness an unforgettable story of piracy, love and dark forces from half the world away! REVIVED!
1. I Heard a Rumor

(A/N: Sorry it's so short! OK, basically, the whole thing is based off the fifth part of Sly 3. It just sort of planted itself in my head and grew and grew until it turned into this! I'm working on the next chapter, so hang tough!)

**Thieves of the Caribbean**

Prologue: I Heard a Rumor

_Blood Bath Bay, the Caribbean_

_9:24 PM_

The Jade Mermaid had always been the number one source of income in Blood Bath Bay, and it would be for years to come. The town itself wasn't very large, but the profit it generated was enough to rival even that of Tortuga. There were always ships at anchor in the harbor, and the rock formations acting as a protective corral around the harbor insured that even if the Navy managed to track them down, they would have to come through a bottleneck and be forced to battle a fusillade of cannons. No tricky maneuvers, no stealth tactics, just a full on assault. To date, not a single person had blasted their way into Blood Bath Bay. No ship had even managed to make it past the Skull keep. Even now, the skeletons of dozens of warships, Navy and raider, were rotting at the bottom of the bay.

In fact, a popular source of gossip in the Jade Mermaid was comparing pirates and agreeing on who would be the most likely to be the first to storm the bay. And that was what was going on currently, all around the inside of the tavern.

Boomstick Luke plopped down at a table with his partners, Hellfire Russell and Pointer Wesley, slapping down the drinks he'd brought. For some reason, every pirate either had a nickname, a title, or an insult attached to them. Otherwise, they were referred to as "cabin boy scum" or some other similar degrading stereotypes. Hellfire was a giant of a man, a long eared dog who was famous for the cannon he carried on his shoulder in replacement of more convenient weapons. However, not all of his bulk was fat, as was proved by the ease with which he could swing said cannon like a club. Pointer was a tiny little thing, with pointy ears and a twitch in one eye that creeped people out. However, he was fast, too fast for anyone else to touch him, and was deadly proficient with the rapier he had in his belt. Boomstick, however, was right in the middle, neither tall nor short, neither fat nor skinny. Most of the time, he fought with two cutlasses, which often was enough, but other times he'd have to fall back on his scattergun. Hence, the nickname.

Boomstick leaned back in his chair before saying "Right, where were we again?"

Pointer piped up here with "Trying to think about which snot-nosed cabin boy what calls hisself a pirate would be able to get through the harbor without getting hisself blown to pieces."

Hellfire nodded before saying "I think you brought up someone, Boomstick. Who was 'e again? Capper? Copper?"

"Cooper," corrected Boomstick irritably. "Captain Sly Cooper."

"Oh yeah, I heard of 'im. I thought that Captain-Lieutenant blew 'im away last week. That's what I heard." Pointer was being his annoying little self once more, piping up with his two cent's worth to add to the detail.

Hellfire shook his head, saying "Ya mean Fox? Nah, if ya ask me, she'll never get 'im."

"And 'ow would you know, ya fat blubbering whale fart? I've gone up against 'er before. She sank the last ship I was on, totally murdered us. We even outnumbered 'er troops four to one, yet when the boarding crews came on board, we was slaughtered. Those that gave up were the smart ones. She killed every last resister on board, then blew the powder hold. I slipped off in time, a'course, but still…I'll never forget that."

Hellfire shook his head again and took a drink from his mug before saying "Still, I've heard this Cooper guy's untouchable. His ship, the Emerald Dragon, is the fastest there is on the water. His guns are in the shape of sharks, and it's like staring down a creature's gullet before they fire. He commands a crew of dingoes that are the toughest hard-hitting bastards you'll find on the seas. And finally, he's supposed to be a master with a sword. I've heard tell of some people who went up against him, and one second, he's standing there, the next, he's right behind you cutting ya in half."

"Rubbish!" said another pirate who'd been listening in. He pulled up a chair and said "I heard the reason he always wins is because he's got two really smart guys on board. They designed all his weapons, they know all the weak points on a ship, and, get this, they've made a smoke bomb of some sort. Blinds you like a grease fire, it does."

"Nah, you're wrong too!" said another pirate, who leaned against a pole while he spoke. "It's cause he's got this creature under his command, and there's this mystic-guy-thing on his ship that controls it. You ever heard of…Crusher?"

The name itself sent tingles down every pirates' spines. However, another man yelled out "Bullocks! I heard he's got some Chinese guy who knows how to use fireworks like bombs!"

"Are you kiddin' me? It's obvious his first mate, the strongest man on the seas, is his secret weapon!"

"No, it's cause he's got a diver who plants explosives on the hulls while the fighting's going on!"

"Don't be stupid, no one can dive that deep for that long! Anyways, it's cause he's got magic powers! He can turn invisible, I swear!"

Suddenly, the whole tavern was in an uproar, yelling out their theories about how Captain Cooper managed to achieve so many victories and escape so many times. Hellfire, Pointer, and Boomstick decided to get going before it all got physical.

Over in the corner, a single shadowy figure grinned to himself, taking a sip of his drink before setting it down on a wanted poster. Then without a warning, the figure simply disappeared. Vanished. The wanted poster on the table featured a scruffy raccoon with an eye patch over his right eye. Underneath were the words "Sly Cooper. Wanted Dead or Alive. Reward."


	2. Poker

(A/N: I have decided, after much painful thought, to leave out some handicapps. Sly does not have a peg leg, but Bentley does, instead of a wheelchair. And LeFwee, yes you will see him later!, will not have a sword for an arm! Let me know if you think this kills the story or what, I'm open to all suggestions.)

**Thieves of the Caribbean**

Chapter One: Poker

_Somewhere in the Caribbean_

_2:29 PM_

"Full 'ouse." said the Bo'sun Muldoon as he slapped down his cards to several groans around the table. The large dingo grinned toothily as he leaned forward and raked the coins in the middle towards him, adding to the already substantial amount in front of him. Another dingo, this one noticeably smaller, growled and said "That's the fifth 'and in a row you won, Muldoon. I says youse a cheater."

There came an audible click as he cocked the flintlock pistol in his belt. Muldoon, however, was unfazed.

"Fine then, Repzik, you deal, and I'll go all in. No one else. Just me."

Repzik's small eyes gleamed with greed as he said "Deal."

The dealer, yet another dingo nicknamed Whiplash, dealt out two cards to everyone. True to his word, Muldoon slid the money into the middle of the table, while everyone else placed regular bets. When the next cards were thrown on the table, Repzik sniggered with joy. There was a pair of black aces on the table, and he had the other aces for his cards. Muldoon couldn't win against a high hand like that! Muldoon, however, just looked at his cards briefly before setting them back down. The last card was thrown down, and it was a nine of diamonds.

"Show 'em!" yelled Repzik happily, already tasting his victory. One by one, the other players around them threw down their cards in defeat. None of them could beat four aces, unless someone got a Royal Flush, and that just wasn't possible with the cards on the table. Finally, only Muldoon was left, and he flipped over his cards, saying "Black eights. The Dead Man's Hand."

Repzik couldn't believe what he was hearing. He stood up and peered over the pile of coins at his cards. Sure enough, an eight of clubs and an eight of spades were sitting right there. Repzik fell back in his seat, stunned.

"How did you do it? I was watchin' yer 'ands the 'hole time, and I didn't-"

Suddenly, the ship shook with a great boom from outside. Another deep boom rang out as the ship's guns retaliated against their pursuer. Instantly, Muldoon was in his 'kick ass' mode, grabbing up his scattergun and yelling out "All hands ta stations! We're under fire!"

As the crew scattered every which way, however, he paused long enough to scoop his loot into his ammo bag. You couldn't trust pirates, not even these guys. Up at the firing ports, dingo firing crews were working the guns as fast as they could, as well as ducking down to avoid the 'grape shot' cannonballs, which were tiny pellets packed into the cannon, then fired with the intention of taking out the crew. The Emerald Dragon tipped and swerved, avoiding blast after blast and delivering its own broadside at their pursuers: a small warship with a blue sail, which had a white Jolly Roger with a sword through the skull emblazoned on it, as well as on the flag. The Navy was once again on their tail.

Standing at the wheel of the Emerald Dragon was none other than The Murray, who steered the craft with a grin on his face. Pellets and splinters zoomed past him, but he gave them no notice. Instead, he was focusing on how sharp he could make the turns, how fast he could keep the ship going, and how far he could tip as he did turn. Or, at least, he was until a hatch suddenly flew open, and a voice yelled out "Murray! Cut the theatrics! I can't work down here!"

A small object flew out of the hatch, propelled by a green hand, and impacted against the back of the hippo's head. The empty ink bottle shattered across his skull, and Murray muttered in irritation before rubbing his head and getting back to avoiding the Navy ship's cannonballs. Sure, they weren't a problem for him, never had been, but you could never be too careful, could you?

Muldoon stood at the railing, holding on and looking back at the Navy vessel. Repzik came up alongside him and took aim with his musket. Before he could fire, however, Muldoon pushed the barrel down and said "It's not worth the waste 'a ammo, trust me, mate."

Repzik slowly brought the musket down, staring after the ship. "Why aren't we stoppin'? The captain's never run from a fight before."

"We're nah' runnin' ya idiot. Look, a naval battle's like poker." May as well explain it in terms the younger dingo could understand. "We've gone past the 'Intimidation' stage, where one finds tha other and the first few shots are fired. In this case, they caught us travelin', so the best they can do is chase after us and fire their bow guns, which is why the firing rate is so staggered. Now, we's in the 'Bluff' stage, where the mid to long range shots is fired, and you show off your firepower, or put up a farce to make it look like you've got more than ya do. In this case, since we don't have stern guns, we just have to dodge their fire 'til the captain decides to pull around and start closing on 'em. That's the 'Gamble' stage, where ya decide to put it all on the line by pourin' as much ranged firepower at the enemy as possible before you get to the 'Show' stage, where you prove you can live up to your bluff. Get it? So, we don' 'ave to worry about actually getting hit. Even if'n we do, it'll just be a grazin' shot."

Muldoon couldn't have said it better if he timed it. Right at the minute when Repzik nodded, another cannonball, solid this time, landed right in the gut of another dingo a few feet away, blowing him clean in half and causing those parts to fly over the side. Muldoon and Repzik ducked down, clutching their guns tight.

"Then again," Muldoon said shakily "Sometimes 'ey do get lucky."

It was then that, without warning, the door to the captain's cabin flew open, and the captain himself strode out, looking around in apparent distaste. Finally, Captain Sylvester Cooper turned his eye around to peer at Murray before yelling "Oi! Murray! I thought you would've gotten rid of 'em by now!"

Murray shrugged before saying "They've been hitting us with grape shot since we left the harbor. None of the crew want to go up and raise the last sail."

Sly scoffed before turning to the mast himself. Pellets and cannonballs whizzed by him, but he gave them no mind as he leapt up at a rope, swinging himself up to balance on top, even with the ship swinging like this. Quickly, he drew his sword, a curious blade that was shaped like a large 'C', and leapt for another rope, swinging himself up to a wall hook and using that to launch himself up to the top sail. The rope took a few minutes to undo, but finally, the last sail fell, filling with wind as a few brave dingoes climbed up to fasten it down.

A mighty cheer rang out from the assembled dingoes as the ship gained a boost to their speed. Sly leapt down to the deck, landing with a thud next to his first mate. He straightened himself up, fixing his hat and resecuring his eye patch before turning to Murray and yelling "Full-hundred-eighty degrees port, Murray! Let's show these Navy goons that the Emerald Dragon isn't just good at running!"

Murray grunted an affirmative before spinning the wheel, making the ship tip sharply.

"Hang on to something!" yelled Sly. Down below, everything was always either in a nailed down case or being used, so the gunners and other crew members didn't have to worry about falling debris, just had to worry about holding tight.

Finally, the ship righted itself, swerving a little bit more to unleash a broadside upon the Navy vessel. All the gunners from the starboard side quickly ran to help those on the port side, assisting with the loading, effectively doubling their firing rate. Finally, the two ships began to close.

"Muldoon!" yelled Sly, and the large dingo turned towards the one eyed raccoon, and Sly yelled "Weapons! Guns and blades! I want these scoundrels gutted!" Muldoon nodded before bellowing "WEAPONS! GIT YER ARSES IN GEAR AN' GET MOVING! BRING UP THE GRAPPLIN' HOOKS! PREPARE TO BOARD AN' REPEL!"

Instantly, the order went through the ship, and every dingo on board ran for the armory or reached for their belts. Dozens of grappling hooks were brought up, ready to throw when they got within range. Currently, the guns had gone silent, as had the enemy's, and the crews were both yelling at each other, shouting challenges and bellowing insults. Dingoes howled on the Cooper ship, while gorillas roared and pounded their chests on the Navy vessel. Sly stood at the railing, his sword in one hand and a pistol in the other. He would, of course, be leading the charge straight onto the enemy craft. If they could tie up the apes and stop them from throwing their own grappling hooks, then they wouldn't have to bother with defense.

As the ships drew even, Sly grinned as every dingo behind him fell silent, waiting for his orders. Raising the hand with the pistol straight into the air, he shouted "Muskets!" As dozens of guns were brought up and cocked simultaneously, the gorillas realized their situation and turned to quickly find some cover, and Sly brought his pistol down to aim straight at the head of one particularly large ape, then squeezed the trigger, timing it so he yelled out the command a second before the gun fired.

"FIRE ALL!"


	3. Lucky

**Thieves of the Caribbean**

Chapter Two: Lucky

_Porte Angelica  
_

_5:13 PM_

Porte Angelica. Originally set up as a colony by the Spaniards on an island five miles wide, this city is easily the largest in the Caribbean. For years, Spain had held this province against invasions from the French and British, successfully even slaughtering a British naval fleet before it could land its troops. Porte Angelica was the pride and joy of the New Spain empire.

However, thanks to the growing rise in piracy, Spain had been forced to extend an olive branch to France and England in order to form the New World Navy, a force made of all three nations and never fully controlled by any of them. Instead, Porte Angelica, being pretty much in the center of the Caribbean, was divided up among the three nations, much to Spain's displeasure.

Two-thirds of the Spanish citizens were forced to sail off to other islands to make room for the foreigners. Another fourth of the island, set in the center of the city, right where all three connected, was set aside as the headquarters of the New World Navy, also known as the NWN or simply the Navy. However, even though the three nations were technically at peace and united in their cause to drive out the pirate curse, each one still walled off its borders of the city, stationing troops there to watch each other.

The center of the city is currently where our view is focused, however, right in the center of the NWN HQ. The impaled Jolly Roger that made the Navy's standard was flapping in four places: one at the border of each country's domain, with that country's flag flapping alongside it, and three more such flags alongside the fourth Navy flag at the command center, set directly in the center of the entire island, so that it sat atop the highest point in the city, with a view out onto the water for at least five miles out in every direction, seven with a good telescope. The command center itself was built like a fortress, with barred windows, cannons facing every direction, an armory room full of weapons and ammunition, and reinforced stone work on the walls over the original wood frame. There were three Admirals in the Navy, each one from a different country, each one commanding the different national forces.

Waiting outside the Spanish Admiral's office was one Captain-Lieutenant Carmelita Fox, resplendent in a yellow Spanish officer's jacket instead of the blue that the regular sailors wore. She also had a wide brimmed hat of the same color, with a large ostrich feather stuck in the hatband. Currently, she was biting her lip in anticipation of the Admiral's wrath, which she received every time she came back empty handed from a Cooper hunt. This time, she'd been in command of two warships, and happened to not be on the one that found the young pirate captain, the _Oro Angelica_. Of course, Cooper had sunk it and gutted every sailor aboard, but the Captain-Lieutenant still wished she could've been aboard it, just to get the chance to wipe the smug smirk off of Cooper's face.

And so, here she was, reporting to Admiral Carvinez on yet another failure. His patience with her, to say the least, was not long. In fact, Admiral Carvinez had a very, very short fuse, and if you walked out of his office without him yelling at you, you were either very lucky or you had a few pesos to throw around. Unfortunately, Carmelita didn't have either one.

"FOX! INSIDE! NOW!" The yell, though long expected, still startled Carmelita, and with a last brave intake of air, she stepped forward into the office. Admiral Carvinez was a stout dog of a man, very furry, with squinty eyes and a love for firearms that spread itself to his surroundings. Every wall was covered with his collection of muskets, scatterguns, boomsticks and pistols, all from different countries. Currently, he was sitting behind his desk, examining a strange, new pistol he'd just gotten. There were about five other such weapons on his desk in front of him, and judging by the heavy smell of black powder in the air, they were all loaded.

Carmelita hesitated briefly before standing straight and firm in front of his desk, saying "You wanted to speak with me, Admiral?"

Carvinez looked at her furiously with one squinty eye before setting down the strange weapon in his hand to pick up a pair of spectacles, snarling "Captain-Lieutenant Fox. What is it with you and hunting down pirates?"

Carmelita stiffened in outrage, but managed to hold her tongue. The Admiral continued. "Every time I send you out to string up a sea rat, you always succeed with very light damage and minimal losses."

Carmelita frowned slightly, not understanding where he was going with this. Compliments in an inquiry were not very common. She found out what was on his mind in the next second, however. "Except one…WHY THE HELL CAN YOU NOT CATCH THAT ONE EYED, YELLOW-BELLIED CABIN BOY?!"

Oh…that's where he was going.

Carvinez continued his rant, but in a mercifully subdued tone. "Captain-Lieutenant, you have brought down some of the worst scum I've seen in my life, and I've seen plenty. Just last month, you dragged Muggshot's worthless hide in here, _alive_, no less, and he's now waiting to be hanged. Thanks to you, we now have better control of the seas in several sectors. However, when it comes to this Cooper," he looked up at her, squinting as if trying to read something on the bridge of her nose. "It all falls to hell. Now, I'm not looking for a reason, Fox. I'm looking for his hide, in here, next time you sail out, or don't even come back, understand?"

Carmelita swallowed once, outraged, but managed to hold her tongue again and nod. Carvinez sighed, holding his hands out in a gesture of futileness and said "Look, I'm being pressured also, or I wouldn't be doing this. The Queen gets copies of the reports, and I've heard that every time Cooper's name comes up, she just scoffs and throws the report to the side, saying she knows what's going to happen. Well, she's had enough of it. If you don't catch Cooper this next time you sail out, it'll be my position and your head on a silver platter. Now, I've got a little gift for you that might help you out a bit."

His hand gripped the pistol on his desk, holding it briefly before sliding it across to her. Carmelita's eyebrows raised as she picked up and beheld the strange weapon. A cylinder in the center, large bore barrel, heavy weight.

"What is it, sir?"

"That right there, Fox, that is a heavy caliber revolver. New weapon, designed for scraps aboard ships. It fires six large rounds out of a rifled barrel, and the clockwork mechanism turns the cylinder every time you cock it. Pain to reload, but an even bigger pain to take a round from. We got our best men carrying these around."

Carmelita frowned, her expression exasperated as she holstered the heavy gun, replying "Y'know, I think 'heavy caliber revolver' is a little…bland."

"You got a better idea?"

She looked back, shrugging before asking "Why not just call it a Shock Pistol?"

* * *

Her assistant was waiting for her outside, one Petty Officer Neyla. Personally, Carmelita didn't trust the Indian immigrant. She'd scammed her way through the academy, and when she had been found out, the only reason she'd stayed in the service was because someone thought that lying and trickery made good qualities in a soldier. Neyla was currently trying to chat up an ape guard, who stared straight ahead, trying and obviously failing to ignore the tigress.

"Well, what do you think? The Spaniards can't be trusted, the French are cowards. Next thing you know, the Russians'll be down here, trying to stake out a piece of these waters. I mean, c'mon, Cooper's already got Australians on his ship. It's only a matter of time until-" Noticing that her superior had finally came out, Neyla smiled before patting the ape's musket in his hands, saying "Take care of that. Don't want any kind of attack to get through."

"Petty Officer! Fall in, now!" Carmelita snarled. _Ay, de mi dios_ she hated working with this woman. Neyla, for all her trickery and selfish ways, still followed orders, and fell into step behind the fuming fox as they walked away from Navy headquarters.

"So, how did it go, ma'am?"

Carmelita sighed as Neyla spoke, regretting the day God gave her the ability to learn English.

"The admiral chewed my ass out for not catching Cooper…again."

"Well, look at it this way, Carmelita, at least you'll have plenty of chances to try again."

"Not this time. The admiral said either catch Sly Cooper or don't come back at all."

"Well, that's rather harsh, don't you think?"

"Of course I think it is!"

"Well, then why not do something about it? Cooper's better than he seems at ship combat. Didn't you stress that?"

Carmelita sighed, more of a groan in pain. "Only about seventeen times."


End file.
